I came to Wagner College knowing I wanted to study in New York City, but not knowing what I wanted to study. Through the Hybrid Nations Learning Community during my freshman year, I began my interest in Spanish, taking a course with Dr. Margarita Sánchez on translated literature of the borderlands. After a few more Spanish courses, I declared myself as a Spanish major, not knowing what I would do after college, but knowing that I would be bilingual. After a semester in Madrid I was fortunate enough to come back to Wagner my senior year and take a Spanish course entitled “Peninsular Survey.” Rather than having an RFT class for the four of us writing our theses that semester, we each worked one-on-one with one of our professors. I worked with Dr. Sánchez again, meeting once or twice a week to choose the works I would analyze, guide my direction and research, and iron out my format and grammar. I began my research wanting to examine feminine literature and the female identity.

As my “Peninsular Survey” course progressed, I realized that several of our texts contained multiple examples of abuse toward women in various historical ages. With two supporting texts for a historic perspective, I chose to write my thesis about the novel Nada (Nothing) (1945) by Carmen Laforet and the film Te doy mis ojos (I Give You My Eyes) (2002) by director Icíar Bollaín. I examined how the female protagonists in these works struggle against abuse and the masculine oppression, and how they escape and secure their identity. In my research, I learned about women in the masculine sphere, women in between the worlds of object and subject, the connection between fear and desire, how the female gaze threatens the male gaze, and how the gaze of the women represents their struggle to control their perspective and their identity. Through the abused gazes of the women, I discovered how Laforet and Bollaín have created new opportunities to give a voice to these women and to liberate them from abuse.

In writing my thesis, my passion for Spanish literature slowly revealed itself to me, along with my passion for representations of women. I have prepared an earlier paper on the female identity, and writing my thesis gave me the chance to further explore that theme. Throughout the entire RFT process, Dr. Sánchez and Dr. Katica Urbanc were eager and willing to make suggestions and offer their own research to help guide and shape my thesis direction. With their help, I produced a thesis of which I’m very proud. It was that kind of help that helped me decide to look into graduate programs in Spanish literature. Next year I will be attending a master’s program in Spanish and Latin American Literatures and Cultures in Madrid through New York University, and I hope to further acquire a Ph.D. in the coming years as I move toward becoming a professor.

My experience at Wagner has been eclectic, and the Modern Languages Department has shown me all the benefits that studying a language has to offer. I even took a French class my final semester, along with two Spanish courses. My professors, my experience in Madrid for a semester and during a “Wintersession,” my thesis and the department overall have broadened my horizons and have taught me the ways in which I may develop myself in the world of academia.